Intellectual Stoner

Who Am I? Ben Young
I am 20 years old. I am considered by some to be a half hearted nihilist that is an expert on everything. I've been pining for my best friend Caro for years. It's become a friendship that I hope might someday blossom into a romance. Caro describes me as a friend and confidant. We both share the common belief that autonomy was the greatest aspiration. She thinks it's ironic that I seem to be incapable of doing anything without her. We are both philosophy students entering our junior year. Our professors that we study with include Dr. Fowler, Don (Hill), McGrath, Annie Loui, Cynthia Bassham, Dr. Deveau. We go to University of California Irvine. I got closer to Caro after we met each other during TA hours of our freshman consciousness GE program.


 * 1) What is my Present State of Being: 1.1.  Sober. excited to eat dinner with Caro and her mom.  Ready to make a great impression. 1.2.   distressed/ concerned because Caro has already made up her mind to move away and she's packing.
 * 2) How do I perceive myself:  I"m intelligent.  Or I can be.  It's a lot for me to say this but I think I learned too much and it was overwhelming so I'm paralyzed/ struggling with life in a way.  I'm someone that opens up with the right person.  I'm definitely funny because it's one of the ways I deal with everything.
 * 3) What am I wearing:  Something comfortable, but also a little formal because I want to impress.  A button up with my favorite sweatship because I want the confidence.

What are the Circumstances?

 * 1) What time is it? ( The year, the season, the day? At what time does my selected life begin?) . Thanksgiving we went to her mom's place because she lives in Irvine.  A week after we've been out from Winter break because they already want her to start in the spring season.
 * 2) Where am I? (In what city, neighborhood, building, and room do I find myself? Or in what landscape?) . Caro's mom's kitchen and Caro's room.
 * 3) What surrounds me? (The immediate landscape? The weather? The condition of the place and the nature of the objects in it?) . A beautiful display of food.  Kitchen looks like Grandpa elmer's.  Wood cabinets flooring table.  Doily.  Tv on a desk.  Pictures behind the Tv and on the fridge.  A little ornate and flowery everywhere.  Old macaroni and cheese in the pantry closet.  Her room look's like Aunt Vals.  Pastel green.  Things feel a little washed out.  A mirror piles everywhere.
 * 4) What are the immediate circumstance? ( What has just happened, is happening? What do I expect or plan to happen next and later on?). 1.1. We are discussing autonomy and how at least the first person to create the religion is exercising autonomy, but it was how humans adapted.  She asked me what I'm trying to say about faith.  I'm walking into thanksgiving dinner with Caro and her mother.  I expect to wow them so she's see how perfect I am as her boyfriend.

What are my relationships?

 * 1) How do I stand in relationship to the circumstances, the place, the objects, and the other people related to my circumstances?  Caro-  She just seems like a perfect fit if only she would open herself up to letting something happen between.

What do I want?

 * 1) What is my main objective? My immediate need or objective?  My main objective is to enter a relationship with Caro.  Immediate objectives are to clearly explain faith and how it relates to autonomy so as to impress her with my intelligence.  To make sure she isn't going to leave me.  To prove to her that it wouldn't be a good idea to go to Oxford and leave me.

What is my obstacle?

 * 1) What is in the way of what I want? How do I overcome it? . Her mom doesn't quite understand what I"m trying to say.  She just received news that she might be moving away.  She's packing to leave.

What do I do to get what I want?

 * 1) How can I achieve my objective? What's my behavior? What are my actions?-  I can achieve my objective by impressing her.  Charming her mother.  Making her laugh.  Opening up the more obvious choices that would allow her to stay with me.